Photo Friday!

Well hello there! I’ve been instagramming again. I snap photos here and there and after a while I have a little collection of photos. It seems that using this app brings out a different beast in my creative side. Most of the instagram pics I snap seem to have a certain feel about them. Here are some more “gems!”  Warning: the last photo is a little racy… I left it to the end so that you’d have the choice to scroll that far or not

Photo of a tulip with morning dew on it. Pretty little guy.

I like that this picture ends up being about the texture of the road, and not the shadow…

I really liked the shape of the glass and the texture of the bubbles and the table…

Weeds can be pretty sometimes…

 

WARNING: Scary Photo below!

 

 

Levi found this squashed mouse by the side of the road… Mouse pancake! Poor little thing.

 

Another lesson that I have taken a long time to learn

“You make me happy”

“What you said made me feel like crap”

“I didn’t end up going because of what you said”

All of these statements, and statements like it are 100% false. It’s taken me a long time to get to the heart of this lesson. Of course, I still say things like this, but I now know the true meaning behind my words.

When you say to a loved one “You make me happy,” or something similar, what you really mean is “The things you do and say give me a feeling of happiness.” It’s a subtle difference… but an important one. The only person who can ever make you happy is you. What?!?

What I mean is that everyone has their own reality, and their own way of processing things. To one person, “that thing” you said could be absolutely annoying. To another, it could be bliss. Conversely, YOU have the power to change how you think, what you think, and what your reality is. You simply have to have an open mind to yourself, and be flexible. If someone says or does something that’s annoying or “makes you feel” a certain way (upset, for example) – have a look at WHY it gave you that feeling. After all, you are choosing to feel a certain way based on what someone said. You have the power to choose otherwise

Image: dan | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For example, someone tells you they don’t like your dress. Automatically your brain starts racing: Does it make me look fat? Is the material hideous? I must look terrible! Everyone must be looking at me! I never should have bought this dress… Lets reel everything back in and hone in on the one most important thing: do YOU like your dress? In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Herein lies your CHOICE: If you are comfortable, and you like the fabric, you can choose to feel good about your dress despite anyone’s opinion. Also – take into account that maybe that person just doesn’t like red… or would never wear that particular cut

When we say things like “I didn’t end up going to the party because of what you said,” blame is being unfairly placed. No matter what anyone ever says or does, we ALWAYS have a choice. Sure, the things people say and do can influence how you feel, and therefore influence your choice – but in the end the choice is ALWAYS YOURS. Everything in your life is ultimately up to YOU. Choose to DO or DO NOT… there is always an option.

What I’ve learned is that we often don’t literally say what we mean. Language is a funny thing, but now that I have opened my eyes a little more, I try to be more careful with how I say things. On the other hand, I also take the words of others less personally. When someone tells me that I make them angry, I know that they mean that something that I have said or done has caused them to feel angry and I keep in mind that it’s their interpretation. In that situation, I do my best to apologize and clarify what I meant. Also when someone tells me that they did or said something as a result of my actions or words, I no longer take this personally either. No matter what I say or do – the choices of others remain just that: THEIR CHOICE.

Image: nattavut | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Same goes for me! My choices are my own, no matter what the situation is.  My only responsibility is to myself and of my words, my actions, and my thoughts. I can choose to be happy – and I do!

Then again, this is just what I think. Take it as you will <3

 

More photo play with Instagram

I am loving this app. Eventually I’m sure it will wear off, but the effects still bring a twinkle to my eye. Here are some more shots I captured with Instagram this past week!

Instafist - Lo-fi!

My keyboard has never looked so interesting

Woodgrain texture of awesomeness. Who knew laminate could be this interesting?

Spring has sprung! Cute little new branch on a tree...

Saw this typewriter in Value Village. I was tempted to buy it, but opted for a photo instead.

 

Non-judgement day

I read this awesome article 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy, and it’s gotten me thinking about a lot of things. The latest topic on my mind has been judgement. I’ve been noticing my own judgements more, and it makes me feel awful inside when it happens.

We all do it. “She looks awful in that shirt,” “I’d NEVER do what he just did!,” “He smells bad, he should try showering more often,” and so many others. Often, we are judging people or situations without even realizing it. We even judge ourselves on a constant basis. Not only that – but we’re often worried about other people judging us, and what they are thinking about us. Why do we do that? Because WE are constantly judging, and our own thoughts and behaviours are projected BY US onto others; Hence we constantly believe that others are judging us.. because we are constantly judging!!!

It’s not easy to become more conscious of your own judgements. Lately, I’ve been trying harder to think about all the stuff going on in my head, the words that cross my lips, and my reactions to things and people. Judgement often happens automatically without us even realizing. Our brains are so used to it, it just *happens*

I’m hoping that by being aware of my judgements, that I’ll be able to start cutting them away. Judgement is essentially the practice of putting myself above others, and that’s not how I want to be. That’s not who I want to be. I’m guessing that other things will soon fall in stride – like a lot less stress, less heartache, less worry, and the reduction of negativity in general.

I’m hoping that this practice will help me* on my path of things I’d like to give up to be happy:

1. Give up your need to always be right.
2. Give up your need for control*
3. Give up on blame*
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk*
5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
6. Give up complaining*
7. Give up the luxury of criticism*
8. Give up your need to impress others*
9. Give up your resistance to change.
10. Give up labels*
11. Give up on your fears.
12. Give up your excuses*
13. Give up the past.
14. Give up attachment.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations*

 

Playing with my new toy

Recently, I got an iPhone. It’s basically a tiny, handheld computer. It does just about everything, except rub my back for me and make my meals. Along with all this fantasticness comes Instagram! I’ve been hearing about this app and seeing fun stuff that others are posting, and now I can join in the fun! Here are some of the first Instagram shots from my iPhone camera (which is actually better than the $300 point and shoot camera that I bought 4 years ago!)

Levi at sunrise

Is it really that hard to put it on the roll? You already got it this far...

Morning tulips

One of the neighbours has planted chicks and hens in old shoes and placed them on the fence around their yard. All at once, this visual is cute and creepy...

Steeping

 

Lying in bed

Usually, lying in bed is the time we all look forward to. We get time to read a book, watch an episode of our favourite show, or snuggle up and get ready for sleep.

 

For a lot of people, that time you spend lying in bed just before you sleep or as you’re waking up, is thinking time. It can be frustrating when you’re trying to get to sleep, and something is on your mind, niggling at you. You keep thinking about the same things over and over in your head, tying yourself up into tighter and tighter knots. Sometimes it happens in the morning when you wake up before your alarm and are trying to doze until its time to get up, but you just can’t shut your mind off and get those extra few minutes of rest.

Image: mack2happy / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This morning was one of those days. My thoughts kept running. My eyes kept opening to check the clock. I was fidgeting. I changed positions a dozen times.

I was able to shut off the monkey chatter a few times. I forced myself to think about something else. My mind temporarily reminisced about happy memories or wondered about the fantastic future. But as soon as I started to doze and my control over my own thoughts loosened, the monkey chatter came back.

Why is that? Why does our brain go back to the hamster-wheel of worry? It’s like a default of some kind – that we are programmed to worry about unresolved issues over and over and over again until they’re resolved.

My goal is to reprogram my default: to be thinking of happy rainbows and unicorns and marshmallow fantasticness by default when I’m dozing off, instead of worrying about things I cannot change or have no immediate answers to. I wonder if I can teach this old dog a new trick…

 

Trying out the HDR stuffs on my picture-taking machine

I did it! Last week, I secured a tripod for my picture-taking machine and I felt motivated to try out the HDR technique. Quickly: HDR is High Dynamic Range. Basically, you take multiple photos at different exposures (lighter and darker), and then merge them in photo editing software to obtain a larger range of detail in one photo! Here is a cool example of how much more detail you can get in a photo using the HDR technique.

This is my first stab at taking and editing some HDR photos. They are slightly sucky, because they were taken on a very overcast day, but it’s kinda neat, nonetheless!

Original

HDR - check out the super crisp lines and vibrancy of the light!

Original

HDR - so much more detail in the clouds and the grass!

Original

HDR - beautiful and bright!

Original

HDR - maybe a little over saturated, but i like the overall feel. There's some graffiti up top that you can't see in the original!

Obviously I have to play with the settings (there are so many!) to get different effects. It’s definitely interesting to see how much more detail, light, darkness, and colour vibrance is available to cram into one photo!

 

Little Miss Invisible

Sometimes our routine works. Like clockwork, we get things done on time and to our satisfaction. Life goes on.

Other times, it’s like you’ve woken up from hibernation and think “Oh man, I haven’t done (fill in the blank ______) in ages. Inevitably, you feel guilty. Why? Because you’re not living up to your own expectations. And furthermore, because your own expectations reflect what you assume to be the expectations of others.

We always seem to be putting on a show. For ourselves. For friends and loved ones. For perfect strangers. But that’s the nature of humanity, and being social creatures we place value on what others think. Because if they don’t think highly of us, they won’t like us… right?

Image: www.bite.ca

I digress. I’m still trying to break myself of this habit – of doing things for anyone but myself. And making sure that “doing things for the approval of myself” doesn’t so heavily reflect what I think others will approve of as well. That’s a difficult mental tie to break

Where am I going with all this disjointed mumbo-jumbo? I’ve been Little Miss Invisible lately. I’ve missed blog posts. I’ve neglected my new camera. I haven’t lifted my pen to paper to draw. I’ve been lazy. I’ve been watching too much TV. I’d like this post to serve as a reminder to myself to wake up!

Spring goals:

1. Use the techniques I learned in photography and get out there and take photos
2. Learn more about taking HDR photos, and DO IT
3. Draw one thing a day, worst case scenario: just before bed
4. Write one thing a day – a funny anecdote, a meaningful quote, a story I heard, my thoughts
5. Get out more. Do anything outside. Walk, bike, rollerblade, take photos, sit and enjoy!
6. Streamline my possessions (I own too much “stuff”)

That’s all I can think of for now in this attempt to motivate myself. Sometimes, I find that writing things down makes them ‘real,’  and I feel more of a responsibility to complete the tasks set out before me.

 

Getting over the wall

As per usual, I’ve been thinking. Not only that, but I’ve been trying to simplify things for myself, in hopes of finding a more simple answer to a lot of questions, issues, and problems that seem to be recurring for me.

Why do we feel bad, sad, upset, angry, or anything negative? Aside from physical ailments that make us feel down, it occurred to me that all of these things (and more) have a common denominator.

Uncertainty. Insecurity. Fear.

A closer look:

I did a good job at something and nobody said anything about it, so insecurity sets in. I feel unappreciated and begin to second-guess myself. I wonder if I did a good job and why no one noticed. Maybe I start questioning what people think of me.

Someone puts me down and makes me feel insignificant. Insecurity sets in and in some cases snowballs, making me notice more ‘faults’ that I may have. Subconsciously (or consciously!) I become afraid that people won’t like me.

I’m not sure what to wear to a party and I’m stressed because I want to look good. I’m feeling insecure because I’m worried about what others will think of me when they see me.

I have a fight with a loved one and amongst the feelings of anger, hurt, and upset – I fear that the relationship may be affected, or even end because of this fight.

My thought process:

I’ve been analyzing situations like these as they happen to me, and they all boil down to fear; Fear of what others think of us. Why do we place so much value on how others see us? And why do we place so little stock in how we see ourselves?

On a daily basis, I try to live by one of my own credos ”Stop caring so much what others think of you!” This is easier said than done. Fear creeps in. It’s irrational, and often gets blown out of proportion. I try to keep reminding myself that in any and all of these situations, everything will be fine. I try to check with myself to see what I think of me. As long as I’m doing the best that I can and living up to my own code of ethics, that’s all I can do. That’s the BEST I can do. I can’t change how others outside me act and react.

I concluded that the importance must be placed not on what others think of me, but what I think of me. In order to not lose my perspective, the thoughts and opinions of others should always be included in the mix… but I think it’s time to keep my opinion of me in the forefront.

 

Trying to remember my mindfulness

Recently, I realized it’s been over a year since my 10-day silent meditationretreat. There have been little reminders popping up in my everyday life that have been nudging me to remember the things I learned during this 10 days. I have forgotten so much. It’s so easy to slip back into the everyday routine. The things I learned and the uplifting feelings seem to fade like remnants of a dream.

I’ve been feeling downs more often than normal. I’ve been dwelling in the past too long. I’ve been worrying about what-ifs that may never happen in the future. I’ve forgotten how important it is to try and stay in the present; To enjoy what’s going on around me now. My attachments to the past and the future have been growing stronger, and today, the universe reminded me to be more mindful of my present.

So today, I have set a goal. When I find myself disappearing into the past and bathing in things I cannot change, I will pull myself back. When I find myself lost in worry about possibilities of the future, I will bring myself back and try to enjoy a moment that is happening presently.

Things I can enjoy in the present:

• The way the sun hits things and brightens how everything looks
• The feel of my dog’s fur as I pet him
• The taste of a chocolate chip cookie dancing across my tongue
• The smell of a favourite flower or scented candle
• The feel of a refreshing, hot shower
• The feeling as you drift off to sleep
• A good stretch
• A good book
• A good hug

I need to literally pull myself back on track… it won’t simply happen on its own. Being in the present: I’m out of practice. And you know what they say, practice makes perfect!