I think I am finally coming to understand unconditional love.
I could never get my mind around it when a serial killer’s (or other criminal’s) mother or wife supported them in court. How could anyone support these fiends?? But then I realized-maybe they don’t support them, maybe they just love them… no matter what!
It’s the same with our family, friends and loved ones. You don’t have to agree with them. You don’t have to share the same opinion. You don’t have to approve of their practices. You don’t have to have the same religion, or morals, or ethics. You don’t even have to like the same things. But if you love that person as a person, and support them regardless of smart or not-so-smart decisions they make-THAT is unconditional love! It’s a simple concept, but very difficult to practice!
So the mother supporting her son in court, the very same son who robbed a store and killed a man, is still her son. Deep down, she knows he is good, but he has simply made a bad choice. That’s why she is there-because she loves him unconditionally… Not because she condones his behaviour!
This is what I have come to realize about the people in my life, too. Before realizing this, it was easy to shut someone out because of one thing they may have done that I did not agree with. That one thing may simply have been a bad choice-that doesn’t make them a bad person! Plus-my opinion of the actions of others is simply that: an opinion! I may not agree with a choice that a loved one makes-perhaps it is something I would not have chosen based on my personal morals and life rules-but that doesn’t mean I stop loving that person or wanting them in my life. Sure, I have the right to say something to them if they have hurt me, and certainly I have the right to express my opinion to them… In the end, I will still love them and hope that they will learn from their choices (as I learn from mine) At the end of the day, I love them the same.
Caveat: I’m not saying here that we should blindly love everyone unconditionally. Certain personal boundaries should be in place with the people we keep in our lives, and it’s not good to retain the practice of keeping people in your life who are detrimental to your health.