I don’t clean my car. It’s often a giant pigsty inside, and even more disgusting outside. My car is one of those you’d love to write “clean me” in the dirt on the windows, but it’s actually SO dirty that it makes you ill thinking about touching it. I avoid cleaning my car, because I’m terrified I’m going to lose my antenna.

When I first got the car, I took it through one of those amazing spic-and-span washes that has little men inside as well as the machine washers. They buff, they rub, they soap, they chamois, and they love your car! Unfortunately, the machines have a habit of eating antennas. How was I supposed to know?!? In any case, my antenna is precariously held on by some super glue – because it snapped off right at the thread and we couldn’t get the bottom part out and simply buy a new antenna. Therefore: I shall not clean my car – lest I lose my little antenna and my link to music, radio programs, and my ipod’s FM broadcast. Sidenote: that super glue is amazing… it has lasted over 3 years so far!

With all that being stated, my car is currently dirty on the outside. I park in an underground garage which is dusty, so if I ever pull in on a rainy day, all the dust just sticks to the droplets and makes a (depending on your perspective) beautiful mess. Currently, that is the state of my car. Covered with dirty little water droplets. It definitely needs a bath. (But I can’t bring myself to do it… )

However, I have noticed something strange on my driver’s side window. I guess it’s been there for over a month now. Maybe longer. One rainy day while sitting in traffic I gazed out my window with a glazed look on my face and realized that there was an absolutely clear spot on the window. No rain droplets. No dirt. Nothing. It was spotlessly clean. As raindrops struck my window, the water beaded off this particular area and continued down to the bottom portion of the window where they rested. Nothing seemed to stick to this area. At that point in time, I figured I had gotten some grease or something on that part of my window – hence the water not leaving droplets in that area.

Not so. Another day I looked out my window and noticed how absolutely clean this one area of my window was. Dirty, dust-covered rain spots all over the window (and the rest of the car, for that matter), but this one area was absolutely spotless! I actually examined it when I got out of the car. No grease. And nothing else that I could see. I ran my finger over it, and it felt clean as a whistle. What has caused this area of my window to be so clean, impervious to water and dirt for so long? (And how can I get the rest of my car to be like this, because I don’t want to wash it!)

Here is a picture of the alien clean spot.

I’ve circled the clean spot in red – it’s hard to see, but I’ve done my best to enhance the picture…

I can’t explain it. And now I REALLY don’t WANT to wash my car. I want to see how long it lasts! I’m curious to know why this part of my window is so spotless. It’s not as if I’ve cleaned it! I imagine some alien being coming down and accidentally brushing against my car. Maybe that’s where the clean spot came from?! Alien goop on my window? (Where can I get more?!)

What do you think (aside from the obvious – I’m crazier than all the nuts on all the trees in the entire world) ???