I’ve been single for a year now. Over the past year, a few friends have asked me “Have you met anyone yet?”
Early in the year, it was easy to simply reply “it’s too soon,” and not be pressed on the subject. I got advice from lots of people:
- You should just start dating to get a feel for what’s out there
- Do what you feel is right for you
- Make sure you’re cautious and date for a while before jumping into anything serious
- Have some fun – get out there!
All of these pieces of advice (and more) are valid, and wonderful. I received them all and filed them away.
I’m 32 going on 33. I’ve been in and out of a few relationships. I think I’m entering a really cool phase in my life where I’m starting to think about and BE about me… in a good way. For the first time I’m living on my own (I’ve always had a roommate or partner to live with). I’ve been reconnecting with old friends and connecting with new, as well as reconnecting with myself. Now that I’ve finally moved to a new place on my own, I’m really starting to enjoy single-hood.
For one thing, there’s a lot more time. More time to do the things I want to do. More time to read. More time to work on projects (of my own!) I have so much more time for me, and it’s becoming a big benefit 🙂
I’ve also been doing a lot of inner construction work. I’ve gone through a lot of changes in the last 18 months. I’m happier… much happier. I’m enjoying life. I’m stressing less. I’m smiling more.
So, when recently another friend of mine asked me “Have you found yourself someone yet?” and I replied “No, I’m not really interested,” it was easy to defend the following question: “What aren’t you interested in? Love? A relationship?” I simply replied “I want to make sure that I’m happy before I expand my boundaries to include another person in my life.” It was short, and to the point. I didn’t have to explain myself any further 🙂
I love my friends. They are protective of me. They are concerned. And I love that they question me, prod me, push me, and support me. I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
At the ripe age of 32 years and 10 months, I have finally realized that I do not NEED a partner. The only thing I need, or will ever need, is me. It’s a concept I’m exploring and cultivating. I don’t need to be in a relationship, but it is definitely a wonderful thing to be able to share your life with another person. Removing that imperative makes the entire concept of a relationship so so so much lighter.
I’m sure that, eventually, I’ll be ready for another relationship. Right now, I’m honestly not worried about it. I’m happy being me, and I’m happy with my life. I’m really enjoying single-hood. That’s not to say that I think it would be excellent to have someone to share things with, but for the first time, I’m really enjoying just being me and having only me to worry about. Once I get really good at single-hood, and at being me and being fantastic and being happy, then I’ll take a step towards sharing myself with someone else.