New lens play

Since I got my camera out and dusted it off a few weeks ago, I’ve been more motivated to take photos and try new things.

I’ve been saving up for about three years now to get a macro lens for my DSLR and I finally amassed enough to get my lens! As soon as it came in the mail, I popped it on my camera and tried it out. Then I googled “how to use a macro lens” and read about a dozen articles. Then I read the teeny tiny instruction book that came with the lens. I probably did all of that in the wrong order, but I managed to get some cool photos!

I decided to start with my fish tank, because there are a lot of neat things in there. A tiny snail, a fish, and a lobster! I caught sight of our snail, Mr. Snarfles, sliding around on the glass, and started shooting.

Click a photo to enter the gallery. Hit Escape to exit!

This is Mr. Snarfles. He was the inspiration of my photos. He is about 4mm long and his shell is about 3mm high. I was super impressed at how big I can make him seem with my macro lens! This was the best shot I got of him slithering along the glass.

Mr. Snarfles slithered up onto a leaf, so I tried taking a shot from the top of the tank. I have some work to do on my focus!

I was trying to get a picture of Mr. Snarfles the snail on a leaf, but captured these bubbles instead. Amazing! I love this lens!

This is a closeup of the bubbles from the previous shot. It’s really neat, because you can see the reflection of bubbles inside the bubble on the left! Each of these were between 2-5mm in diameter.

I finally got the focus right, and got a pretty good shot of Mr. Snarfles on the leaf underwater. There are some cool bubbles in this one too!

Here is a close up shot of our Australian Blue Lobster (crayfish). You can see his feathery gills!

Restorative

My sister lives in Oakville, and she let me know that a lot of good things get thrown out on large garbage pickup. So we picked a day, and off we went! It was CRAZY! There were people with trucks grabbing things left and right. It’s a good thing we started early, or we wouldn’t have gotten anything at all.

It amazed me how much perfectly good stuff I saw on the curb. A recliner couch in great condition, tons of lawn chairs for outside, televisions, kids toys, furniture of all kinds, tables, chairs, mattresses still wrapped in plastic, and so much more!

I found two great items, and ended up fixing them up once I got them home. Both were from the Bombay – one was a bench, and the other was a beautiful bevelled mirror. I got them from two different houses, but it’s as if they were a matching set!

Once I got them home, I restored them so I could use them! Here is the story of their reincarnation, in pictures [click to open photos in gallery, hit ESC to exit the gallery]

The bench: a little worn, a little loose, and super hideous fabric.

The bench was too long. I removed two legs, cut the side supports shorter, removed the upholstery from the top, and cut the top board.

Here is the frame for the shortened bench! Good as new!

This is the bench after re-upholstering it. I added new foam (from a defunct dog bed) and new fabric to match the curtains.

New vs old! Not bad!

This mirror was just dirty – it needed a good cleaning. I touched up a few nicks and scratches with a furniture marker after cleaning it.

It looks brand new!

Old vs new! Someone paid a lot for this, and it ended up in the garbage, and then my home – for FREE!

Back on the tripod

One evening I was sitting on the balcony, enjoying the cool view from our building – and a chord was struck inside me. I grabbed my tripod (which has not been touched since being unpacked from the move) and camera (which has only been touched to retrieve the memory card from – for something else), and set myself up on the balcony for some practice with my photography skills.

The sun was setting, so my instinct was to grab an HDR of the sunset. Why? Because it’s a technique I know how to do – it’s safe.

Boring, safe HDR sunset

It was ok, but boring. I needed a challenge. With my tripod set up, I thought about playing with my aperture and shutter speed settings. I set out to achieve two goals:

1. Get a photo of a light with star streaks – small aperture, long shutter speed
2. Test shutter speeds to get streaking headlights and brake lights of cars on the highway

I started mucking around with my shutter speed and aperture – starting with the aperture being somewhere in the middle and the shutter speed being relatively fast, and changed them one by one to get the desired effect. Once the sun set, it was much easier to get results, because the light wasn’t constantly changing. I managed to get a few neat photos of streaking lights, and then lo and behold! I captured a few lamp posts with star streaks around them (check out how many I got in this pic below!). I was excited!

Long shutter speed cars with sunset

As I looked through my captures, I noticed I had also caught something else moving through my long shutter speed photos – a plane! After that, I set out to capture the flights taking off from the airport – long exposure. I ended up with some neat shots, but I still need to work on playing with my ISO settings and my aperture to get the best results. Here are the fruits of my discovery! [Click on a photo to enter the slide show, hit ESC to exit!]

Cars streaking past on the highway and the on-ramp.

Finally got the shutter speed and aperture right! Highway traffic streaking by – with colours!

This is a closeup of the previous photo. Smallest aperture, long shutter speed to capture more light – et voila! Star-streaks on the lights!

My first accidental plane capture. This is what got me going!

A plan taking off from Pearson International Airport. They fly right over my building – so cool!

Some of the planes went very high, very fast!

Closeup of the trails – you can see the belly lights (white) and the wing lights (green and red) are streaks punctuated by a flash, because they are flashing!

This pilot looks crazy – but he was flying at me, so his trajectory is foreshortened a bit. Imagine being on a flight going this direction?

This was a really big jetliner with a ton of lights. It was huge and slow.

With the aperture open a little more, I caught a little bit of the blue in the night sky.

Bacon wrapped onion rings

Whilst browsing the internet for several hours one day, I came across what I thought looked like an AMAZING idea. It was posted on Facebook by someone or other, and when I saw the description, I knew I had to try it! Bacon wrapped onion rings??? YES PLEASE.

I did some Goozling and found the recipe. Then something happened and I got distracted… and I forgot about it for about three weeks. The delightful photo and recipe appeared again in my news feed (thank goodness for the repetitiveness of sharing on Facebook) and reminded me that I was due for a food adventure!

Being the lazy lout I am, I was happy that I did not have to go to the grocery store for ingredients. In my fridge were two fresh packs of bacon (yes, I used both), lots of onions for ring-making, brown sugar,and Sriracha sauce! I had come to the end of the internet for the day, and decided to rise from my reclining computer chair and create some deliciousness.

I started by cutting the onions into rings. I left most of them two rings thick, for extra stability! Next, I brushed the onion rings with Sriracha. This might make some of you afeared, but rest assured that no matter how much Sriracha you baste onto these babies, the hotness gets baked right out of them, and you’re left only with delicious flavour.

Onion rings: Brushing on the Sriracha!

The next step is to wrap the Sriracha-covered rings with bacon. It gets messy. And then you itch your eye. IT BUUUUUUURNS! But then you think of the bacon, and forge on! Affix the bacon to the onion ring with toothpicks. I found that two worked quite nicely! Do this again and again until all of your rings are wrapped. Warning: This uses a lot of bacon!

It’s so beautiful *tear* (tears may have been due to Sriracha in the eye)

Once all your babies onions are wrapped, dip their bacony exterior in brown sugar—be sure to get both sides, and sprinkle both liberally and willy-nilly. Sriracha, bacon, and brown sugar are GOOD FRIENDS in your tummy!

A bowl of Sriracha/Bacon complimentary brown sugar for dipping!

Things are starting to look amazing. When will they be done?!

After this, make sure everybody is laid out on a rack. I didn’t have a rack, so I improvised by making a “rack” by creatively folding foil in little spiked rows that mimic a rack. It worked (sort of). Put your bacon buddies in the oven at 375 for 60-90 minutes (WHAT?! Yes… I know, but it’s worth it). I took them out half way to flip them, because my impromptu foil “rack” sort of failed and they were not getting brown on the bottom. And nobody likes squidgy bacon.

Whoooooaaaa.. we’re half way there. Time to flip!

If you’re actually using a rack, make sure there is a cookie sheet underneath, or you’ll RUIN your oven. The finished product:

These babies were delightful!

I set them out on a paper towel to soak up some of the ooze and let the bacon harden up a bit. The onions inside were at melt-in-your-mouth consistency, so you need the bacon to crisp up so they retain their shape.

Once they were crisped up, we dug in! AND THEN BURNED OUT MOUTHS. Seriously, these things are burning lava hot inside. I ate a few mouth-scalding bites, breathing the fiery air of hot food, and I loved it! These things are so flavour-packed! I also spread a bagel with cream cheese, and added a couple of these puppies on top – it made an amazing bagel-wich.

So if you’ve got 90 minutes, some bacon and onions, an oven rack, and electricity – I highly recommend this recipe!
NOM NOM NOM!

The light

There’s a certain bathroom that I frequent on an infrequent basis; Usually once a week, sometimes twice. It’s a semi-public bathroom that’s used by quite a few people. Sometimes the light is on when you go in. Sometimes the light is off. But I am sometimes caught by the light (or lack thereof) with my pants down.

The owner of said bathroom has put in a special, energy-saving light switch that I like to refer to as A HORRIBLE IDEA. This light switch has a setting for OFF (off all the time), a setting for ON (on all the time), and a setting for AUTO. The AUTO setting enables a motion detector on it that turns the light on if movement is detected. If the switch is set to AUTO and you walk in, the light comes on. It will turn off after 2 minutes. Some might think this is a genius, energy-saving wonder of an idea. I do not.

When I go into the bathroom, if I remember, I will flick the switch to ON. But sometimes I forget. Maybe I’m in a rush. Maybe I just finished my third coffee and realized that I haven’t peed in five hours and my bladder is about to burst. Maybe I’m turtling and there is no time to check what position the switch is in. Sometimes I just rush in and drop trou…

It is on these occasions, in the middle of enjoying the absolute relief of release, the AUTO setting kicks in and I’m left pooping in the dark. 😐

No big deal, most would say. But they’d be wrong.
With a sad sigh in the dark, I realize I forgot to switch the light to ON. I can’t reach the switch from where I am without getting off the pot and creating a veritable mess. I wave my hands in the dark. Nothing. I wave more frantically. Nothing. I wait until my eyes adjust, and fumble for the toilet paper in the dark.

 

*FLUSH*

The only problem with these motion detectors is that they DO NOT DETECT MOTION IN THE DARK. So the entire process is counter-intuitive. Therefore, the light will only turn back on if there is light so the motion detector can see you. Since I usually go to the bathroom with the door closed, there is little to no light once the bathroom light AUTOMATICALLY turns off. So unless you’re on the throne with a set of airplane directing wands, or a light sabre – you’re SOL – Pun intended. Once, I actually had my phone with me and I was able to trip the motion detector mid-poop by turning my phone on and waving it around like an idiot. That only lasted for two minutes, and then the light went off again. More frantic phone-waving ensued until the end of my bathroom visit. Oh to be a fly on the wall watching myself.

I have come to the conclusion that these light switches are entirely redundant, and should be banned. Either that, or they should be re-designed with different labelling. HAVE PHONE, WILL WAVE (please turn the light off 1-2 minutes into my poop, so that I have a chance of dropping my phone in the toilet as I fumble in the dark – I like taking chances!), POOPING (I’ll be here for at least ten minutes, so please leave the light on forever), and USELESS (off).

Appropriate motion-detector-money-saving-annoying-when-you’re-pooping light switch labels.

Poop icon credit: Mourad Mokrane from The Noun Project

A midnight beach stroll

I’m on vacation in Florida with my Mom, and we are visiting my Uncle at his condo down here. So far the trip has been great. We got rained out today, and I wondered if the storm and the waves would have swished any treasures up onto the beach. It’s hard to find intact shells here. There is a beach Zamboni (a tractor with a huge rake on it) that combs the beach every morning, ruining any chance of finding anything cool. So I thought that if went out at night after the storm and the waves, but before the Zamboni, I might have a better chance for success.

I set out with a tiny, but bright flashlight that Mom gave me, and began walking the beach. I came upon a lot of flotsam. Leaves, dead seaweed, and tons of sea-bubble-froth that is created when waves filled with pollutants crash against the sand over and over. Needless to say, it was not exactly a magical walk. It was a little bit gross. And kind of scary.

I scanned the sand with my flashlight, hoping to see a crab scuttling along, or perhaps a mother turtle making it’s way to lay it’s eggs. Maybe I would see a beached dolphin that I could help back into the water! Clearly, I have been watching too much TV, and had expectations that were ridiculously too high.

At last, after a few hundred meters of gunk, I stumbled upon a shell. It was common, but intact. It looked like it had a hole for a piercing that someone ripped it out. I brushed off the sand and pocketed it.

Inspired by this find, and like a gambler fueled by a 300-coin win at the penny slots, I trudged on. The waves began crashing harder against the sand, pushing sandy water and flotsam over my feet. I began to walk higher on the sand. With my little flashlight swinging back and forth to reveal potential goodies, I walked, and walked, and walked.

Aha! Another shell! I turned it over on the sand. It looked relatively nice, except all of the pearlescent colouring had been worn off by time and tide. I brushed it off and walked on, hoping for something bigger and better.

It wasn’t long before if came across the next marker on my tour-de-beach.

I found this overzealous fish, who swam too far with the waves. He asked a friend for directions and went left instead of right. With the few last flips of his fins, he realized that the ocean was the other way, but it was too late. This is definitely the prettiest dead fish I have ever seen. Fresh carcasses, in my opinion, are the best carcasses. Remember that life lesson.

Somewhat discouraged by the lack of sea-shelly goodness, I decided not to walk too much further. But, like a hungry three-year-old who finds a moist candy in the dirt and pops it victoriously into their mouth, I put my flashlight to work and kept looking for more. My second last find is what encouraged me to walk that little bit further to find the most unexpected “brought-in-by-the-waves-treasure”.

This little dune buggy was being pushed around on the beach by a young, Norwegian boy who was making a badly shaped sand castle by the surf. Jørgen looked up for a moment when his mother called him, and a crab snatched the dune buggy from his hand and ran away. For weeks, the giant crab, named Lars, could be seen holding the dune buggy in his pincers and driving it along the beach. Several tourists and locals tried getting it away from him with no luck. Eventually, Lars was caught off guard by a pelican, named Elvis. When Lars opened his pincers in surprise, the dune buggy was whisked away in the waves, only to resurface after the storm.

I definitely think that’s exactly how the dune buggy got there. Roll with it.

Charged up by the dune buggy score, and sure that I was going to find something spectacular soon, I adventured on (yes, that’s a word, I have decided!).

The waves crashed. The sea air filled my nostrils. Somewhere, a lone gull cried out, because he was out past dark and had lost his way home. My footsteps gently pushed the sand aside as I walked on. All of a sudden, my flashlight revealed a large lump in the sand ahead. My heart leapt – A GIANT CONCH SHELL?! As I stepped closer, I saw…

This last beach “treasure” I came across was completely from left field. I’ve heard the saying about rats fleeing a sinking ship, but I didn’t think it actually happened. I guess this guy just didn’t make it. Or girl… Is that a nipple? I took the time to crouch down near him (or her, as the case may be) and take not one, but two photos. You never know what angle might work best.

Needless to say, that was the point at which I gave up. I walked hurriedly in the dark back across the beach, trying to avoid stepping on any broken shells that might stab my feet or anything worse I could step in. And you now know what I saw on my midnight beach stroll, so you can only imagine what else I worried that i might discover by stepping in it.

I stopped once to put my feet into the water and feel the waves on my ankles and the sand between my toes. I took a moment to breathe in the ocean air, to enjoy the peaceful waves and the quiet, empty beach.

I’d say that all-in-all, the midnight beach stroll was a success.

How to be happy?

I’ve struggled with this question several times in my life. Sometimes there are little pockets of unhappiness that come and go. Sometimes there are big pockets, that can last months or years. But how can one be truly happy?

In the past, I’ve actually been in a place where I Googled “How to be happy.” Surprisingly, it was a good place to start, and from there I began formulating what works for me. I read self help books, studied spiritualism, and followed recommendations from friends and family about how to be happy. I tested all kinds of things, and continued doing what worked for me. I went on a ten-day silent retreat to try and look inside myself and find a path that worked for me. I’ve fought against sadness, despair, anger, frustration, loss, grief, and depression. But the underlying theme in all this: I took action, and I found happiness.

So, what have I found?

I’ve found that if you’re unhappy, that it’s up to you to fix it. If something is wrong at work, in a friendship, in a relationship, with money, with a job, or in life – if you ignore it, it won’t go away. Things don’t just get better on their own (unless you’re healing physically, but that’s the magic of science and biology!). Change is always in our hands – but it’s good to remember that sometimes change takes time.

One of the first steps to being happy is figuring out what makes you happy, and what is making you unhappy. Then, it’s simple… be honest, and get rid of or seriously limit those things that make you unhappy. Take the time to enjoy and appreciate what does make you happy, even if it’s the smallest thing; revel in it.

Sometimes it’s hard. You find yourself in a rut. You can’t get up in the morning. You don’t want to go to work. You don’t feel like leaving the house. You’re too tired, or have no motivation for even the smallest thing. If you want life to get better, then you can only rely on yourself to make things better. No one else is going to do it for you, and happiness isn’t just going to ring your doorbell and ask to come in for coffee. Happiness takes work.

The only thing that got me moving was forcing myself to move, to change, to make choices. Doing nothing only sweeps problems under the rug, and you WILL have to deal with them eventually. If you find yourself so lost you can’t seem to get anywhere, talk to someone – anyone. Ask for help, or for that little booster of love or laughter can give you even the tiniest morsel of motivation – sometimes that’s all you need.

You have to decide to be happy; You can’t wait for it to come to you. Once I figured that out (it all started with that Google search) I found a root to hold onto. I told myself what was going to happen by setting goals (even if I didn’t believe it). I got up and forced myself to do the things I needed to do (even if I didn’t want to do them). Sometimes, that’s the only way to get the ball rolling. Fake it ’til you make it. Eventually I got used to the routine I had set for myself and began building on it.

What do you do if something’s bothering you? Tell them – especially if it’s a particular person or their actions who is bothering you. Just be kind in your delivery, and be honest. Getting it out in the open will make you feel better, and once the problem is identified, you can start to find a solution – hopefully together.

What do you do if money’s tight? Set a budget, no matter how depressing, and stick to it. Always ask yourself – do I need this? Or do I just want it?

 

What do you do if you feel like a bag of dead kittens and don’t want to even move in the morning? Force yourself to get up. Go watch the sun rise. Play with your pets. Read a book. Call an old friend. Go to a coffee shop and people watch. Go for a drive. Do something different. Because doing something is important, even if you only take action for few minutes a day for the first little while…

What do you do if you’re in a situation that you can’t just step out of – a job, a relationship, a living situation? Take steps to set up how you’re going to change your situation. Set goals. Start saving. Do research. Because when the time comes you’ll be prepared, and that first step will be much easier knowing there’s a safety net you’ve already built for yourself.

What do you do if you’re having a crappy day? I’ve found that often it’s the little things that make a huge difference:

• Look at the stars (you don’t have to know what you’re looking at, just enjoy the beauty of our planet and the universe!)
• Go outside
• Get some exercise (even a walk to the store)
• Look at or read something funny – laughter (even if you’re laughing AT someone :D) will boost your mood
• Do something completely out of the ordinary for you – rock climbing, target shooting, knitting
• Eat a meal and savour every bite – you’d be surprised what an experience eating is!
• Call, text, or email your Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Best Friend, Estranged Friend, anyone
• Think of someone you love, and send them happy thoughts
• Smile
• Do something nice for someone else

There is no one key to happiness. But it starts with taking action, getting moving, setting goals, and appreciating life. It snowballs from there…. Anyone can be happy. I had to choose to be happy.

Nightmare at Gingerbread Corner

A preface to my photo essay:
I love my Mom. She dropped by one day to help me out with something, and when she came to the door she had a gingerbread house kit in her hands. I’m pretty sure she can read my mind. That very week, I had seen the exact same gingerbread house kit and wanted to buy it, but didn’t. Call it Mom ESP. I thanked her and gave her a giant hug, and told her that I would be posting photos of the build. This post is my documentation of that build.

After a trip to Bulk Barn to get a few extra tasty embellishments, we were ready to assemble. All the pieces were ready for us.

With so much joy ready to paste onto the gingerbread house, how could anything go wrong?

We decided to decorate the pieces first, so that everything had the best chance to look amazing.

After the decorations had some time to set, we started assembling the pieces. It really started looking good!

The bigger of the two houses posed a challenge, because the walls are canted outwards. I had to hold it for quite a while before I trusted it. What kind of cookie architect designs a house this way?

The little house looked amazing. Beautiful Christmas lights strung along the roof, and a tasty candy roof-top row of deliciousness.

And then s#!t got real. I spent about ten minutes holding the sliding walls and roof together in a panic. I had to re-apply the icing twice.

In order to save my sanity, I switched gears and continued with the sleigh and four (not eight?) tiny, delicious reindeer. There was even a Santa for the sleigh! This build worked ok…

“Let’s leave it to dry,” I said, hoping that I could put on the second half of the roof when the icing had had time to dry. We left the kitchen for fifteen minutes to shovel some snow. And came back inside to the rubble.

Forensic photo of the gingerbread tragedy. No lives were lost, but several were injured. Diabetes was spread all over the floor.

The roof slipped, the walls fell. The original architect and planners are going to pay for this devastation! A law suit is pending, and we are waiting for the insurance to come in.

The little house and Santa’s sleigh survived. Some of the reindeer are leaning drunkenly against the house and each other for support under the weight of the sorrow they felt for the loss of so much of their village.

As with most animals when one of their young dies, we decided to eat the remains. We kept the pieces in a bowl, and cry every time we eat some.

I’m FAMOUS!

I’m certainly of the school of thought that everyone is entitled to more than one shot at 15 minutes of fame. Today’s my day, people!!!

My lovely girlfriend was scanning buzzfeed, that delicious little time-waster, as I was working away on my computer. She jumped up and said “Is this you?” and showed me her phone. Lo and behold, there I was in all my glory!

That’s right people, I’m on buzzfeed, the pinnacle of fame-dom! Talk about being up on your social media. I should blog more weird stuff.

I’m not even upset that I’m all the way down at number 18…

The lovely people at buzzfeed got this photo from a post from my younger blogging days, when I used to go to Value Village with my favourite lunchtime-at-work shopper Sandra. Alas, those days are over, as I currently work from home, and Sandra has moved on to another job. I’ll have to ravage the thrift stores near home on my lunch breaks and see if I can dominate an ENTIRE buzzfeed post one day!

Oh, to have goals…

Anyhoodle – have a gander at me looking spectacularly awesome in a super cute t-shirt (when I was skinnier and more tanned). And have a fantastical day!

Check Buzzfeed often for more of me 😀